Do you want to overcome the negative people in your life? Are there some people in your circle that don’t seem to have your best interest, or pretend like they do then put you down at times? It can be difficult to overcome negativity. When you do, your life will have so much more joy in it. But it’s not easy; otherwise, there wouldn’t still be Negative Nancy’s out there. Changing a pattern of thinking that you’ve developed over decades is not an easy road. If you fall back into old patterns of thinking every once in a while, don’t beat yourself up. Just switch gears to positivity. If you want to do well in business, you have to think positively.
Why? Because in real estate, your goal is to find opportunities. How can you find opportunities if you consistently find the bad in every situation? It’s going to be pretty hard to decide on a deal, and you’ll find yourself backing out of good ones for various reasons; usually fear.
Now, if you don’t possess the tools to overcome negativity and hate, it may prove near impossible to overcome them. This article mainly pertains to real estate investors but they certainly can help anyone looking to remove these things from their life in general. Whether you’re involved in real estate or not. No matter how hard you try, you are going to experience negativity and hate from people around you. Here is how to handle it!
When you first start out in real estate investing, expect a whole lot of negativity from people around you. Even those that love you. They’re going to try to tell you your limits of what you can and cannot do, and why. They’ll undermine your capabilities. Your friend might tell you real estate is a waste of time. Your parents might think you don’t feel like going back to school or getting a “real” job. No matter who the negativity is coming from in your life, this article is worth reading.
How to stop being negative yourself, if you find yourself doing it
Want to know the secret to ceasing your negative outlook? They’re simple concepts, but undoubtedly not easy to implement. It’s hard to change a pattern of thinking; it’s even easier to fall back into it. These are not only life tips, but they’ll help you succeed in real estate investing as well. Here are some ways that you can stop being negative regarding your life in general, or your circumstances:
A. Just take a good look around. Life’s not too bad. You probably have a place to live, and friends and family that care about you, and a nice computer or iPad to read this article from. There’s always somebody worse off that you are right now. Now, this isn’t meant to make you feel crappy for what you do have. It’s about appreciating what you do have. You’re doing better than most people. Nothing is perfect, but if you think about it, your life is probably pretty easy compared to others’.
B. Eliminate any and all drama from your life. Do this immediately. Drama is a terrible characteristic to have. If you want to get rid of drama in your life, you’re going to have to get rid of some of the people in your life. Even if you are a little dramatic, you’d be surprised how much less you act like that when you don’t feed on it together with another person. Ditch anyone in your life who gossips. Anybody who gossips to you is going to gossip about you. Fact.
C. Learn to forgive others. Don’t live in anger and resentment. As they say, “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Guaranteed, the person you’re holding a grudge against is not even thinking about you right now. How does the that make you feel? It should make you feel like you’re wasting a whole bunch of time thinking about them. Nothing good comes from holding a grudge. You’ve got to forgive people. This doesn’t mean letting them back into your life. It just means that you are freeing yourself of anger and resentment.
D. Be kind to everyone that you meet or encounter throughout the day. Being nice to someone isn’t difficult. Hey, you do it enough and eventually you might even become nice! Being nice is actually fun; try to do something thoughtful for at least one person every day. Give back by being kind. You’ll start to see karma coming back too.
It’s more hurtful when it comes from the people you love and respect
Experiencing negativity and discouragement from strangers or acquaintances is not near as difficult as experiencing it from the very people you love, and that supposedly love you. It is not easy receiving negative comments from those that you respect, and have influenced you in the past. It can really bring you down in the dumps. Many people don’t want you to do well because they, themselves are unhappy. They’ll try to bring you down with them. Also take note that if you have been a negative person in the past and are trying to change, the people in your life aren’t going to be happy. They’ve likely enjoyed discussing how negative you are all the time to other people and when you aren’t, they’ll have nothing to chat about when they’re bored.
Be enthusiastic; if you’re getting haters, you’re probably doing something right
Maybe you’re working on a real estate deal that’s looking like it could be extremely profitable. Then the seller starts acting like you are a con-artist. You shouldn’t get discouraged by this, you should be enthusiastic! Generally, this means you’ve got a good deal in front of you. Likewise, if you’re closing on the deal and the seller seems to be in an excellent mood, you should probably be a little worried. This might either mean that something is going on to where the deal won’t work out, or that you’re about to receive a gigantic lemon of a house.
When someone acts negatively toward you, it means you’re pressing all the right buttons. You never want to intentionally anger someone, that’s not the point. The point is that regarding real estate, if someone seems to be hating on you or getting really heated, you’re probably on the right track in terms of the deal.
Taking a minute away from the real estate side of this and applying it to life in general, people will probably start to get a little concerned the better you do and become. Many get worried that you aren’t going to need them anymore. This could be a friend, or even a spouse. A rule of thumb is that if you’re trying to improve yourself and your life and you see the people around you becoming angry…you should become enthusiastic.
Pray for them rather than getting angry or retaliating
Understand that there are people experiencing a great deal of pain in their life. You never know what is going on with them with their career, mentally, with their relationship, or in their personal lives. You do not know what is going on with them. Instead of getting angry if someone does or says something to you, realize that they’re probably just projecting onto you. On the other hand, if the person doing this is very close to you, pray for them. Usually it is haters that have other things going on in their lives. People who are well balanced and confident are not going to be spending time hating on others or stirring negativity because they don’t have time to and they are happy with themselves.
You have no idea the kind of pain other people are experiencing in their life. I recently helped a family member purchase a new house. When they moved in, the neighbor to one side of them was very annoyed because it was a newly built home that had blocked their view of the water.
So one day, my family member was going to put away the trash cans because the garbage men had already come. The neighbor came out and made all sorts of accusations about my family member’s strange work schedule. She believed something shady was going on and let my family member know this. She also threatened to call the HOA if he did not start picking his trash up sooner.
Quit people-pleasing! It doesn’t work anyway, even if you “please” them”
Why doesn’t it work anyway, you might wonder? Well, psychologically, the human race has a natural tendency to please other people. The issue is that humans in general are not very good predictors of their happiness. They don’t usually know what is going to make them happy, or what they want. Therefore, when you constantly try to make others happy, it isn’t going to work. People pleasers are generally not happy people.
Mostly because they take on the attitude that they do so much for other people, and get nothing back. Not even a thank you. Well, here’s a little secret…most of the things that people pleasers do for other people…the other person didn’t even ask them to do. Yet the people pleaser will seek a huge thank you and reward. Instead, the other person’s take on it is that they didn’t even ask you to do whatever it was so they don’t feel the need to reward you with a gift or a huge thank you session.
People pleasing will stop you from reaching success
You will never succeed in pleasing other people. Everyone has their own supposed barometer of what will make them happy, but deep down, even they do not know. If someone makes a hateful or hurtful comment to you, be humble and ask yourself if the comment holds merit. If it does, consider improving. On the other hand, if you are doing what you think is right and it irritates someone or they have something to say about it, let it go.
People pleasing will hinder your real estate success. You cannot people please with your team. Your team is built up of who? Contractors, mortgage brokers, agents, tax insurance companies. You will get trampled on if you show them you’re weak and cater to others’ needs. They are going to take serious advantage of you. You cannot be too nice in business. That doesn’t mean you have to be rude to people, but you have to demand respect. Through your actions. People respect people who respect themselves. If you let someone walk all over you, they’re going to do it time and time again. Don’t start the pattern. If you’re going to do that in your personal life, by all means. But in business, people pleasing is lethal. Do not become one. If you are, stop.
Take control of the situation, and do what’s best for you
The message to take away from this article is not to “use negativity to succeed.” That mentality isn’t really a road to go down. For example, doing something because someone tells you you can’t. If you do that, they’re actually controlling you. You will grow resentful, as they’ve got you by a string. Do only that which you feel you should do in your life. Be in control. You should read up on influential people who overcame great hatred and negativity. Those who changed the world, such as Martin Luther King.
Now, what did he do differently? He got excited. When people went into an angry uproar, he persevered. And what happened? Other people joined in because he was excited and kept going. All of the hatred they experienced was a direct indicator of how close they were to something really big. Don’t people please. You do not live to make other people happy.
Hopefully this article has given you some tools on how to handle negative people and haters in your life. Everyone has them. And, when you start to do really well, expect haters to multiply. People want to pull you back into their world of negativity when they see you getting out.